As I write this, the stock markets are tanking. The bluster and bluffing of one world leader is categorically destroying the financial value of markets around the world. Which made this an interesting week to read Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. It’s also an important time to reflect on Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan which has sat beside me on my desk for over a month after I finished reading it, because I know it still has things to teach me.
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
I can’t remember if I bought Getting to Yes because I wanted to be better at salary negotiations or if I happened into it at a Little Free Library, but it called to me from the to-read shelf this week. It’s a simple book and effective in it’s framing. The writers even say at the end that the reader probably knows a lot of the things in the book instinctively, even if they haven’t put organized thought into it. I did learn a lot about my own tendencies with positional bargaining and how empathy may have saved me from the holes I dug with that over the years. What was most fascinating, though, was the “What If They Use Dirty Tricks?” chapter, which basically lays out all the ways someone could be negotiating with you in bad faith (and what to do about it).
“Good negotiators rarely resort to threats.” – Getting to Yes
That’s where the tariffs come in. I don’t think any of us think our “dear leader” is a master negotiator (except he himself). But it’s illustrative to see how he ticks all the boxes in this chapter, from phony facts to threats to extreme and escalating demands. It also helped me understand why some of the approach from the U.K. to the man has seemed so artful. They are using soft but firm negotiating tactics of their own, tactics that depersonalize the problems and work toward ameliorating core concerns. I also found hope for the Ukraine situation in the “Negotiate with someone like Hitler?” as I thought about this article in Harper’s about some of Putin’s core concerns that we never talk about.
It’s a great book to read for your interpersonal relationships, business relationships, and seeing how things could be done better. They can be done better, right? Because I’m ready for a lot less bluster and a lot more Booker.
Small Things Like These
Speaking of Booker and his 25-hour speech (of which I watched both too much and not enough), there has never been a better time to speak up than now. I think that’s why I’ve kept Small Things Like These beside me all these weeks. It’s a quiet story about one man’s simple life in an Irish town and how he discovers something horribly wrong that everyone seems to know about but no one is questioning. And no one wants him to question, either.
“He found himself asking was there any point in being alive without helping one another? Was it possible to carry along through all the years, the decades, through an entire life, without once being brave enough to go against what was there and yet call yourself a Christian, and face yourself in the mirror?” – Small Things Like These
Bill Furlong will surely pay for his actions in all the ways his wife predicts he will. But isn’t it better that he tried?
Fisher and Ury write that “principled negotiation can help make the world a better place.” I’ve kept this blog post on thirty actions you can take right now open on my phone to remind myself that even small actions matter. What are you doing today to make the world as you want it to be?
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