Though I’m obsessed with philosophy, we have a tortured relationship. The whole concept of discussing an idea and its implications to death is pure heaven for me. But I like to be right (i.e. not WRONG) and I usually feel inadequately prepared to properly discuss important ideas. In reading Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, there were ideas I wanted to share with friends, but I felt like I couldn’t without going to Wikipedia and determining first that I hadn’t misread the book.
The Flawed Way I Read This Book
Sometimes you have to be who you are. I don’t even remember the first 200 pages of this book. I read them too long ago and the language was thick and I never got my head around it. I don’t remember the last 100 either; I was so immersed in the implications of being-for-others. I didn’t skip anything, but I rapidly skimmed entire sections.
My Relationship with the Other
I became obsessed with how I had defined myself in Others. I thought about the Others I acknowledged and the people who did not contribute to my definition of me at all. I started to think about how being-for-others affected each of my relationships and what it all means for my next book.
I took a hard look at friendships I maintained, contact I had severed, and people I had simply let go. In thinking of Others, I climbed entirely within myself. And then I wanted to reach out to friends to discuss the ways in which we had defined each other. I became filled with forgiveness for others and wished for others to forgive me. I very nearly got sidetracked and failed to finish the book at all.
Many Ways of being Right
I think back to times when I have crucified friends because they saw the world differently than I. I want to be open to the world, not in a castle of correct facts, and I am glad for this moment of learning that knowledge is broad. By being imperfect, we can be open. We can learn and risk and grow. We can find the truths beyond the facts. I have no doubt that I would fail any exam on Being and Nothingness. But I am delighted with the knowledge the book helped me create for myself. I am still slightly uncomfortable with not having gotten all I was “supposed to” from the book, but I got what I most needed.
The lesson I will take from reading this book is that I’m not in some seminar where if I misread a sentence I will be taken down by a peer. Any bit of knowledge that I pick up is important and right in that it spurs my thinking and helps me get the places that I needed to go. If I misunderstand Sartre’s interpretation of Heidegger, no lives will be lost. And I don’t have to go back to Heidegger to determine if I agree with that interpretation. Though I will never pass Philosophy 101, I am open to knowledge and a wide expanse of human truth, and I am comfortable with that. Maybe that’s the difference between a philosopher and a student of philosophy.
Opening Up to Explore Truth
In the coming days I will take Sartre’s ideas and I will examine my long-term obsession with the living for the outside world versus living for oneself. I will continue to try to understand how we can take our relationship with an Other and turn it around to define ourselves. I will begin to learn how to forgive myself for my imperfections. And though my understanding is still imperfect, I will finally allow myself to use my new book to explore the relationship between our internal and external lives.
If this review made you want to read the book, pick up a copy of Being and Nothingness from Powell’s Books. Your purchase keeps indie booksellers in business and I receive a commission.
Isla McKetta, MFA
Author of Polska, 1994 and co-author of Clear Out the Static in Your Attic: A Writer's Guide for Transforming Artifacts into Art, Isla writes fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College and BAs in Sociology and Political Science from the University of Washington. Isla makes her home in Seattle where she writes fiction, poetry, and book reviews and has served on the board of Seattle City of Literature and Hugo House. Recent poems can be found at antiBODY, Cascadia Rising, Hummingbird, {isacoustic*}, Lily Poetry, Minerva Rising, and Riddled with Arrows.
1. More than 40 years ago, I was talking with an acquaintance who was reading Marshall McLuhan. He was excited because he’d uncovered profound insights in McLuhan’s work. Though he couldn’t explain any of those insights to me, that didn’t dampen his enthusiasm, and he kept reading and thinking. I suspect he sharpened his thoughts over time and came away with a well reasoned perspective on the psychological and social implications of media. I’d long forgotten about this until I read your post. Whether you correctly interpret Sartre or not, your struggle will be worth it.
2.Talcott Parsons was a prominent sociologist in that same period, but he was infamous for his impenetrable prose. There was a story about some of his graduate students who were struggling with a particularly dense section of his writing. One student seemed to understand what the master was saying, and explained it to the relief of others, until they bogged down on the definition of a minor term. When the enlightened student searched his text for the definition, he discovered that the pages in his copy of the text were all out of order. As you struggle with Sartre, understand that your insights, though valuable, may not be what he was trying to say, and, that at times, he may have been patently full of shit.
3. I see you’re reading my book, the shadow of Xeno’s eye, and I’m more than grateful. I’m currently setting up a companion blog, Xenoseye.wordpress.com, which I hope will enhance reader’s experience and understanding. It’s not really ready to go “live” yet, but should be fully up and functional in January. Since you’re reading 5 books at once,you may want to put shadow on the back burner until the blog is ready, or hold off your review until you can take a look at it. Happy Holidays.
Thank you for your insights, Jerry! I especially love the “patently full of shit” bit. I appreciate the heads up about your blog. I’m currently powering through some quick reads to make my 2012 reading goal, so January might be a better time for your book to get the attention it deserves 🙂
It’s been nearly two years since your post. Any chance you might post some thoughts on Being and Nothingness now that you’ve had some time with it? I recently finished Sartre’s Existentialism is a Humanism and I feel some hesitation diving into his other work. I have read Kierkegaard and others over the years, but still doubt I have the background to really ‘get’ the book (should I read Kant?)
Ron, thank you so much for asking, but I’m afraid I have not had the head space for philosophy lately. I dove into semiotics late in the summer and nearly broke my brain. And now that I’m pregnant that brain space (and reading time) is super precious :). I think you should read anything that calls to you. Some call (and allow for) deeper reads than others, but go for it. I’d love love love to hear about what you learn here, even if I can’t follow that path just now. Please let me learn from you 🙂